You know when you read or see something and you think wow that’s a really different way to look at things? Well a couple of years ago I read how guilt is actually you trying to make yourself feel better. So it works like this:
You are slowly going crazy. You need to LEAVE THE HOUSE maybe for a 15 minute shopping spree (woohoo!). Well, while you’re away you feel bad the whole time. Oh-man-Billy-fell-down-5-hours-ago-and-he-seemed-like-he-really-still-needed-me kind of thoughts. Real guilty feelings. Well, apparently that guilt is the product of your brain being selfish because if you feel bad about doing something for yourself then YOU’RE NOT A BAD PERSON.
Imagine, you have to feel bad in order to feel ok about doing something for yourself. Crazy huh? I don’t know if it’s all actually right or not but it certainly makes me feel less guilty about feeling guilty.
From a mom’s perspective guilt is pretty much a daily given (hourly?). We can’t parent to the best of our ability feeling guilty. It creates things like spoiled children because we end up compensating for the things we feel guilty about. Maybe we need to change our thinking. If we feel good about most of what we do, knowing we’re doing the best we can, then we’ll all be happier.
Now, the guilt about eating 7 of those lil effing two-bite brownies, that’s a whole different story…
Erica
August 3, 2011
how come the men never feel guilty? why is that?
Connie Barr
August 4, 2011
Thanks for sharing the idea of why we feel guilty. I seem to have spent most of my grown-up ? life feeling guilty about something. Daily I try harder not to let myself be taken over by guilt but it sure is hard work.