Games 3 and 5 year old boys play

Posted on March 26, 2012

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Everyone knows little boys’ lives are filled with poop and pee and disgusting noises and wiped off kisses and sleeves dragged across bottoms of noses.  It really gets fun when they start making these things into a game.  For people who are mothers to boys, you already know the tears these games bring (your tears, not theirs). For the rest of you, well, here it goes:

  1. Stinky Socks: the rules to this one are simple but it involves a bit of prep: put socks on, wear them all day from rubber boots to hand-me-down sneakers to crocs (also if possible run down the school’s hallway in socked feet), remove socks at about 7pm (close to mommy’s breaking hour, right when her post-dinner beer(s) hangover is kicking in).  This one’s really all about the element of surprise.  Wait till mom is running your bath, she’s nice and low (both in position and morale) with both arms occupied, then shove the socks in her face so she can’t breathe and yell “stinky socks!”.  The winner of this game gets time-out, no subs.
  2. Copy Cat Game: well this one’s an old favorite from the times Thug could grunt you know his 5 year old son was getting his kicks by “ugh”ing right back.  This game is best played at the dinner table when mom has had her first beer (she’ll play along for the first 3 1/2 minutes before turning irate).  Two player max.  Winner of this game gets, yup, time-out and a boot up the arse.  Ha just kidding.
  3. Anything Poop Game: this one is a little more “advanced” than the first two.  It’s a thinking man’s game really.  You have to work the word “poop” into as many sentences (two-word sentences count) as you can.  Variations on the game include “fart” and “butt”.  There are no rules really as nothing is off limits, even your elderly neighbour’s name.  The winner of this game gets his poop farted right out of him.

There are others like How Much Water Can Escape the Bath? and Is that Mud or Poop on your Boots? but those games are for any age.

Please feel free to share your pain games.

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Posted in: Mommy lows